I’m going to do this a little differently since I used to play the real life Quidditch—Muggle Quidditch, if you will—so I’m basing my choices for my WHKY Quidditch Team on how the real-life game works as opposed to the wizard version in the books/movies (cuz it could really happen!). Also, I went beyond the NWHL and included CWHL, NCAA (no lawsuits please), and National Teams.

Keeper

Hilary Knight

I know she’s not a goalie, but I decided to go with somebody tall. And keepers, of course, can run the ball down and try to score with the chasers as well. Plus, she’s obsessed with goalies, so why not be one for a change.

Beaters

Blake Bolden and Megan Bozek

Because in the movies I think they use clubs or something, but in the Muggle version it’s dodge balls--and with these two choices, I considered the hypothetical situation of their hard slap shots translating into throwing dodge balls. Also, head shots count, mind you, but I think it's illegal to intentionally aim for the head.

Chasers

Dana Trivigno

She might be good as a beater in the wizard version, but in the real-life version, she’d make a good chaser, and there’s tackling too.

Devon Skeats

More yellow cards, but more intensity and fun too.

Lara Stalder

The star player.

Seeker

Rachel Llanes

In the wizard version, you might want fast people like Coyne-dawg and Lewicke, but in the live version, the seeker gets roughed up and frustrated by the snitch, which is a person, so that changes things up a bit.

Reserve Players—there always needs to be subs, even if it's just a few!

Kendall Coyne—Chaser

Brings out the speed on the chaser side of things.

Ann-Renee Desbiens—Chaser, Keeper

You might think I’m just trying to do the same thing as I did with Knighter, but actually I’m referencing this YouTube video I once saw where ARD joked that in order to be goalie, you just have to "stand in front of the puck." Well, in my experience, a defensive-minded chaser could honestly, more or less, stand in front of the opposing player, which will likely force them to get rid of the quaffle or something. So yeah, seeing ARD actually live out that "stand-in-front-of" concept in real life would be something. And she can also serve as backup Keeper.

Melanie Jue—Beater

Obligatory Lindenwood person (didn’t play, but coached there).

Megan Wagner from Lindenwood

The perfect backup Seeker

On-Call (Honorable Mentions)

Kenzie Kent—Chaser

Natalie Spooner—Chaser

Manuela Anwander—Beater

And of course, despite obviously being on neither team, the Snitch is played by a person, and in the real life Quidditch a Snitch grab gives you 300 points. And the Snitch is always played by someone who can really frustrate the Seekers by knocking them off their brooms and giving them a hard time.

So that being said, for the Snitch, I choose…Emmanuelle Blais…have a nice day!

Brandon McLaughlin